a friend of my (matt pastor) just released a new movie, its a short film about a japanese girl, check it out yo:
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
dreams from beyond 2
so i just woke up from some...interesting dreams again.
part1.
so i was working at roymorgan research, except it was at an old secondary school that was converted into a call centre. i also had samuel l jackson as my supervisor. halfway through the shift, samuel l jackson says to me that he is mfckng hungry and he wants me to get him a mfckng whoop.
what is a whoop? i asked him, he was like a mfckng whoop, english mfckr do you speak it? after some pointless ramblings about how hes never heard of a country called what and threatening to shoot me, he explained that a whooper = whooper. he ordered hungry jacks before and ate the chips and drank the tasty beverage but left the burger under the seat because someone came in and he didnt want them to see.
i try to use the elevator but its not working and lucky for me theres a industrial elevator, i head down and i see two guys with assault rifles aiming at me, i was like wo what the hell, whats up. and they thought i was the one thats been causing some disruptions in the city today, i had no idea what they were talking about so i went to find the whoop.
funny enough, i found two burgers, one was a quad-mighty angus pretty much and the other was a quad-bacon whooper, i was hungry too, so i decided i was gonna eat some of the quad-bacon whooper and tell samuel l jackson that thats how i found it. just before i do that, a supervisor on the bottom floor (i cant remember who or what they looked like) screamed out NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. and warned me of the dangers about eating a whoop like that, i said i was hungry but i was only gonna take two bites and give it to samuel l jackson to finish it off. and he was like "oh samuel l jackson? why didnt you say so, carry on"
so i take two bites out of it and almost died, took the burger upstairs, samuel l jackson didnt even realise that there were two bites missing and then....something goes wrong (continue to part 2)
samuel l, the fact that i can understand what you are saying renders your query about my english speaking abilities obsolete.
part 2.
the aliens from district 9 attack. those commando guys earlier were refering to them when they almost shot me. now the rest of the dream was a bit of a blur, now someone i know gets stripped by the aliens, samuel l jackson is no where to be seen so i had to help her out. she just happened to be wearing extremely sexy lingerie underneath her work clothes and i was like yo, thats dope. so we're running for our lives and im fighting off prawns. one prawn latched onto her ...bottoms and ripped them off, so we had to like go into a small shack and ask for the kind villagers for some pants. thats as far as i can remember...
bloody prawns, get off my planet.
part1.
so i was working at roymorgan research, except it was at an old secondary school that was converted into a call centre. i also had samuel l jackson as my supervisor. halfway through the shift, samuel l jackson says to me that he is mfckng hungry and he wants me to get him a mfckng whoop.
what is a whoop? i asked him, he was like a mfckng whoop, english mfckr do you speak it? after some pointless ramblings about how hes never heard of a country called what and threatening to shoot me, he explained that a whooper = whooper. he ordered hungry jacks before and ate the chips and drank the tasty beverage but left the burger under the seat because someone came in and he didnt want them to see.
i try to use the elevator but its not working and lucky for me theres a industrial elevator, i head down and i see two guys with assault rifles aiming at me, i was like wo what the hell, whats up. and they thought i was the one thats been causing some disruptions in the city today, i had no idea what they were talking about so i went to find the whoop.
funny enough, i found two burgers, one was a quad-mighty angus pretty much and the other was a quad-bacon whooper, i was hungry too, so i decided i was gonna eat some of the quad-bacon whooper and tell samuel l jackson that thats how i found it. just before i do that, a supervisor on the bottom floor (i cant remember who or what they looked like) screamed out NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. and warned me of the dangers about eating a whoop like that, i said i was hungry but i was only gonna take two bites and give it to samuel l jackson to finish it off. and he was like "oh samuel l jackson? why didnt you say so, carry on"
so i take two bites out of it and almost died, took the burger upstairs, samuel l jackson didnt even realise that there were two bites missing and then....something goes wrong (continue to part 2)
samuel l, the fact that i can understand what you are saying renders your query about my english speaking abilities obsolete.
part 2.
the aliens from district 9 attack. those commando guys earlier were refering to them when they almost shot me. now the rest of the dream was a bit of a blur, now someone i know gets stripped by the aliens, samuel l jackson is no where to be seen so i had to help her out. she just happened to be wearing extremely sexy lingerie underneath her work clothes and i was like yo, thats dope. so we're running for our lives and im fighting off prawns. one prawn latched onto her ...bottoms and ripped them off, so we had to like go into a small shack and ask for the kind villagers for some pants. thats as far as i can remember...
bloody prawns, get off my planet.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
stories from abroad
so i haven't really made a blogpost about the humourous and exciting stories that happened overseas when boon and danh came to visit in shanghai and then i subsequently escorted them to korea. Heres one story that i've been telling:
The Dump:
So my mate Chester tells me that hes got some friends at Richys on a friday night and I decided to take Boon and Danh to this balla club. At Richy's, there is no entry fee, the dance floor is like the size of my room so if you want in, you have to book a table. To book a table, you need to spend 2000 AUD on alcohol that night, and thats why it is baller.
Initially we couldn't really get in, because my mate's table was pretty damn full, so we decided to head somewhere else first and come back later when there is less people. (we also bumped into people that we knew....sorta from melbourne this night...weird)
We arrived at this rip off white person bar called Rendevous at Xintiandi, where cocktails were 85 Yuan each (i had the same cocktail somewhere else for 25 Yuan) and decided to just have one cocktail there and move on, Danh got very drunk and generous and shouted us 4 rounds of cocktails. As the night progressed, 2 ladies approached us speaking Chinese and said "hey you guys wanna play together?", i realised the status of these "ladies" fairly quickly and directed them towards boon and said he was our boss for tonight, they broke into english and asked him to by them a drink so they would "play with us" for the rest of the night, boon did not buy them a drink and thus they did not play with him.
After a generous amount of long island icetea, we proceeded back to Richys. This is when the trouble started. Boon and Danh were very drunk and getting drunker. When i checked up on Danh, i thought he was getting pretty into it, chatting to women and playing drinking games. Boon on the other hand, just kept saying that he lost his jacket and camera for about 20 minutes, womenless might i add.
It came to a time eventually when neither of them were in my sight anymore, eventually I became a little worried for their kidneys and decided to look for them. Danh was easy to find, he was in the toilet vomiting in the sink with 10 ignorant people behind him thinking he was just taking a long time to wash his hands. Boon was outside crying (no joke) and vomiting into the gardens at the same time, he did not have his DSLR. I searched for about 30-40 minutes for it in the club and eventually found it under a pile of clothes. There was music, more alcohol and plenty of women...I did not want to leave, Danh and Boon on the other hand were close to death, (Danh did not win a single round of drinking games with that Shanghainese girl).
In the cab ride home, Boon started crying about how no one appreciates him, Danh was trying to calm him down. When we arrived at the apartment, Boon was still crying about how no one appreciates him, I eventually pulled out a picture of Sunny and said "BOON! LOOK AT THIS FACE! DO YOU WANT HER TO BE SAD BECAUSE OF YOU? SHE WANTS YOU TO STOP CRYING AND GO TO SLEEP" and not suprisingly he did...
but wait a second...where is Danh? Perhaps he fell asleep in one of the two bedrooms? nope, i opened the toilet door and there he was: pants down, fresh from a number 2, passed out and feet soaked in his own vomit.
"Danh", i said "what are you doing? wipe your arse and go to bed!"
"I Can't..." he replied slowly "just leave me"
"Danh, you are sitting on a toilet, there is vomit on your foot, your faeces is in that bowl and probably on your arse, you can not stay here!"
I took some toilet paper and put it in his hand
"Close the door..." Danh mumbled
I closed the door and waited for about 5 minutes with no response. I opened the door again, he had passed out in his attempt to wipe his arse and dropped the toilet paper in his vomit. I grab the toilet paper, making sure i did not touch the corners soaked in stomache acid and put it back in his hand. (Now this exchange actually went on for a few cycles, but for progressions sake i'll move it along.)
I reiterated that he was in a lavatory and could not spend the rest of the night in there. Eventually i closed the door and i heard a flush, that was good, he came out and i realised he only had one sock on. Passed out immediately on the inflatable mattress. I walked into the toilet and discovered one of his socks inside the bowl, clogging the toilet, i removed the sock carefully, making sure i only made contact with the dry part and threw it in the bath tub and hosed it down. I mopped up the vomit and finally went to sleep, the next morning Chester told me how they clubbed more and went to Karaoke and all sorts of crazys...damn you Danh and Boon!
here is a video of Danh the next morning (sorry Danh, haha)
The Dump:
So my mate Chester tells me that hes got some friends at Richys on a friday night and I decided to take Boon and Danh to this balla club. At Richy's, there is no entry fee, the dance floor is like the size of my room so if you want in, you have to book a table. To book a table, you need to spend 2000 AUD on alcohol that night, and thats why it is baller.
Initially we couldn't really get in, because my mate's table was pretty damn full, so we decided to head somewhere else first and come back later when there is less people. (we also bumped into people that we knew....sorta from melbourne this night...weird)
We arrived at this rip off white person bar called Rendevous at Xintiandi, where cocktails were 85 Yuan each (i had the same cocktail somewhere else for 25 Yuan) and decided to just have one cocktail there and move on, Danh got very drunk and generous and shouted us 4 rounds of cocktails. As the night progressed, 2 ladies approached us speaking Chinese and said "hey you guys wanna play together?", i realised the status of these "ladies" fairly quickly and directed them towards boon and said he was our boss for tonight, they broke into english and asked him to by them a drink so they would "play with us" for the rest of the night, boon did not buy them a drink and thus they did not play with him.
After a generous amount of long island icetea, we proceeded back to Richys. This is when the trouble started. Boon and Danh were very drunk and getting drunker. When i checked up on Danh, i thought he was getting pretty into it, chatting to women and playing drinking games. Boon on the other hand, just kept saying that he lost his jacket and camera for about 20 minutes, womenless might i add.
It came to a time eventually when neither of them were in my sight anymore, eventually I became a little worried for their kidneys and decided to look for them. Danh was easy to find, he was in the toilet vomiting in the sink with 10 ignorant people behind him thinking he was just taking a long time to wash his hands. Boon was outside crying (no joke) and vomiting into the gardens at the same time, he did not have his DSLR. I searched for about 30-40 minutes for it in the club and eventually found it under a pile of clothes. There was music, more alcohol and plenty of women...I did not want to leave, Danh and Boon on the other hand were close to death, (Danh did not win a single round of drinking games with that Shanghainese girl).
In the cab ride home, Boon started crying about how no one appreciates him, Danh was trying to calm him down. When we arrived at the apartment, Boon was still crying about how no one appreciates him, I eventually pulled out a picture of Sunny and said "BOON! LOOK AT THIS FACE! DO YOU WANT HER TO BE SAD BECAUSE OF YOU? SHE WANTS YOU TO STOP CRYING AND GO TO SLEEP" and not suprisingly he did...
but wait a second...where is Danh? Perhaps he fell asleep in one of the two bedrooms? nope, i opened the toilet door and there he was: pants down, fresh from a number 2, passed out and feet soaked in his own vomit.
"Danh", i said "what are you doing? wipe your arse and go to bed!"
"I Can't..." he replied slowly "just leave me"
"Danh, you are sitting on a toilet, there is vomit on your foot, your faeces is in that bowl and probably on your arse, you can not stay here!"
I took some toilet paper and put it in his hand
"Close the door..." Danh mumbled
I closed the door and waited for about 5 minutes with no response. I opened the door again, he had passed out in his attempt to wipe his arse and dropped the toilet paper in his vomit. I grab the toilet paper, making sure i did not touch the corners soaked in stomache acid and put it back in his hand. (Now this exchange actually went on for a few cycles, but for progressions sake i'll move it along.)
I reiterated that he was in a lavatory and could not spend the rest of the night in there. Eventually i closed the door and i heard a flush, that was good, he came out and i realised he only had one sock on. Passed out immediately on the inflatable mattress. I walked into the toilet and discovered one of his socks inside the bowl, clogging the toilet, i removed the sock carefully, making sure i only made contact with the dry part and threw it in the bath tub and hosed it down. I mopped up the vomit and finally went to sleep, the next morning Chester told me how they clubbed more and went to Karaoke and all sorts of crazys...damn you Danh and Boon!
here is a video of Danh the next morning (sorry Danh, haha)
Monday, March 15, 2010
racist
so what is stating a fact and what is racism?
i am asian. fact
but lets say i said, asians all have black hair... is that a fact? or is that racism?
maybe there are asians with different hair colours? but its accepted as fact
now you could say that its only racist if its offensive or harmful
now if i said asians are all good at maths which probably isn't a fact. but is it racism? its not offensive...or harmful, its potentially untrue, just like hair colour.
anyway, we had a very elaborate discussion of race and the concept of asia during my "modern asia tute", quite interesting, but i think the funniest/worst thing i ever heard during the tute was when a rich white girl said (after much discussion of indian students and having concluded that many of the attacks probably were not racially motivated, they were just at the wrong place at the wrong time):
"i don't want to sound racist or anything, i'm not racist, but i think the indian students bring it on themselves"
i think she was just lucky there wasn't any people of indian decent in the class haha.
what is more scary? being a racist? or being racist and not realising?
i am asian. fact
but lets say i said, asians all have black hair... is that a fact? or is that racism?
maybe there are asians with different hair colours? but its accepted as fact
now you could say that its only racist if its offensive or harmful
now if i said asians are all good at maths which probably isn't a fact. but is it racism? its not offensive...or harmful, its potentially untrue, just like hair colour.
anyway, we had a very elaborate discussion of race and the concept of asia during my "modern asia tute", quite interesting, but i think the funniest/worst thing i ever heard during the tute was when a rich white girl said (after much discussion of indian students and having concluded that many of the attacks probably were not racially motivated, they were just at the wrong place at the wrong time):
"i don't want to sound racist or anything, i'm not racist, but i think the indian students bring it on themselves"
i think she was just lucky there wasn't any people of indian decent in the class haha.
what is more scary? being a racist? or being racist and not realising?
Friday, March 12, 2010
kaist poster boy
pretty soon, every korean mum who wishes their kids to attend kaist will be wondering who that handsome slightly blurred guy in their kaist poster is.
damn you lucas, you know the only reason they used this photo is coz you're white! haha
damn you lucas, you know the only reason they used this photo is coz you're white! haha
Monday, March 8, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
my key?
I, unlike most Melbourne commuters was joyfully looking forward to the statewide adoption of the new myki system. It is very similar to what I have become accustomed to in China and Korea. Leave the card in a wallet/bag, scan when you get on, scan when you get off. No more cheap frail paper tickets. I was even more happy to hear that you can buy passes that exceed a monthly, which meant I did not have to buy a new ticket every month.
(just another day in people's square station (so many people and yet...rarely any delays))
(parking made easy)
Myki...fail (so far)
my question is why did we spend billions of dollars developing this fail of a system, when we probably could have bought one of these very well developed and proven systems for alot less?
And how are hongkong (approx 7 million population), shanghai (approx 20 million) and seoul (approx 10 million) able to maintain such a good system and keep metros running every few minutes without delays, when melbourne which only has around 4 million population can't do it?
One of the first things I did when I got back from overseas was sign up for a free myki card. One of the first problems I realised was that my concession Myki will be useless by next year because I won't qualify for concession status, I thought maybe they might work out some system where they could send me a full-fare card for free, no problem.
The day came when I finally had to use my Myki, I realised that I had no cash in my wallet, but then I remembered I could charge the card on the internet, so far so good, very convenient. I logged on, charged 10 dollars and clicked ok and thats when the second problem came up "please allow 24 hours for top ups to go through"... that should have been shown before i pressed ok, I potentially just wasted 10 bucks, but I thought it probably would go through and it says 24 hours just in case. But as a plan B, I asked my mum for some change. And I was quite right to do so, when I scanned the card it had "0 balance".
All those negatives can be mitigated with experience and planning ahead, but just a few days ago, I heard somewhere that Myki can not be used on trams and buses. Now this got me boiled up, apparently I am expected to purchase another ticket if I want to ride a connecting bus or a tram, that is just bloody ridiculous. I go to uni in the city with buildings all over the cbd and now they tell me i can't use this on the tram...
The bottom line is, this system would have been great if they pulled it off correctly, frankly I regret having jumped on Myki so early but lucky for me I had only purchased a 31 day pass, i shall be returning to metcards until they can pull myki off correctly.
Just to give you a perspective of some other countries.
Shanghai Public Transport Card:
I think it averages 50 cents Australian a trip, one of the fastest growing networks in the world and definitely one of the most used. I've only ever caught one metro that was about 2 minutes late. Metros come every 2-3 minutes during peak time and 4 -5 minutes at other times. You can also use the transport card in taxis.
(just another day in people's square station (so many people and yet...rarely any delays))
Hong Kong Octopus Card:
Now i can't remember how much it cost average a trip, but it definitely was not alot. You can use them on all forms of public transports, including ferrys. Similar to Shanghai in terms of scanning on and off, but you can also use the card to make small purchases at corner stores and fast food outlets like Macdonalds, I'm also aware that you are able to use it to pay for parking in certain areas. I think 3-4 million people use the metro every day, the same company that runs this system, currently runs ours. (the metro system, not the ticketing)
(parking made easy)
Seoul T-Money Card:
Not only could you get them in different colors and patterns, you could also get them in different shapes and objects. My "card" was a phone dangler and pretty much just scanned my phone every time I used the metro. 50 AUD lasted me a good month, keeping in mind that I made multiple trips back and forth a day, as opposed to a 85 Zone1-2 monthly in Melbourne. Also one of the most used. You can also use it to buy things from participating convenience stores, vending machines inside the station usually accepts T-money and like the other cities you can use these in taxis too. And I also think theres a push to get it running nation wide as I noticed some taxis in daejeon also accepted T-money, but not the metros.
dangles
dangles
In these cities, a car was pretty much only needed when the metro stopped running after midnight, even then taxis were affordable and i could use my card in there too.
Myki...fail (so far)
my question is why did we spend billions of dollars developing this fail of a system, when we probably could have bought one of these very well developed and proven systems for alot less?
And how are hongkong (approx 7 million population), shanghai (approx 20 million) and seoul (approx 10 million) able to maintain such a good system and keep metros running every few minutes without delays, when melbourne which only has around 4 million population can't do it?
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